Turn of the Tide
by DarlingVioletta777
Summary: Takes off after 3.16 and goes in a different direction to the show. "It was a far cry from the last time they cooked together, joy bubbling in Veronica’s stomach that her family were finally back together." Logan/Veronica
1. Chapter 1

Veronica carefully kept her eyes trained on the passenger window. The scenery blurred into a dark grey haze as they sped along the streets of Neptune, towards her apartment. She didn't think Piz had looked at her since they had got in the car. Instead, he fidgeted. They were so silent, she could hear with pitch perfect clarity every time he took his hand off the steering wheel, and put it back on. Every time he cleared his throat, or squirmed in his seat.

"So, do you want to go to the movies sometime?" Piz asked unexpectedly. The scent of his aftershave in the air felt thick and oppressive. She could still taste the mint flavour in her mouth from when he kissed her and she wished desperately for a drink to wash it away.

"Uh, sure," Veronica replied quickly. She twisted the end of her dress around her fingers as she looked down. Images of Logan and Parker smiling at each other over their cake span through her mind, Logan's eyes shining with happiness. He seemed carefree, as he flitted around the party, easily joking about her dating someone else. She wasn't even sure he had seemed in the least bit hurt when he'd discovered her kissing Piz, but then why would he be?

"What kind of movies do you like?" Piz asked, interrupting her thoughts. "In the Land of Women is supposed to be good. It looks like a romance, but…"

"Is 300 still on?" Veronica suggested, unable to deal with his rambling. "That looked okay."

"I think so," Piz replied. They trailed back off into silence and Veronica glanced back out the window again.

Perhaps it was just her. She knew she was no Parker – bright and sunny to be around. In fact she was probably the exact opposite, doom and gloom, bringing misery into people's lives. Maybe she just had to face it, she was hard to love. She'd broken Leo's heart, used him and tossed him aside. Duncan had gone so far as to flee the country. Troy had been more interested in drugs than her. And then there was Logan. Sometimes she felt as though she'd just sapped him of every ounce of his passion for life. Why would anyone stick around with someone like her? Her stomach twisted painfully at the realisation. She just wasn't worth it.

The car came to a rolling halt, and Piz carefully put the break on. With a pang, Veronica missed the way Logan slammed the breaks on, skidding to a stop at the last second.

"So, 300 then? Do you want to call me, or should I call you? Or maybe…"

"Yeah, I'll call you sometime," Veronica interrupted again, before he went off into another babbling monologue. He shifted as she put her hand on the handle, before he shot forward just as she turned her head. His lips awkwardly landed on her cheek, and he pulled away.

"Goodnight, Piz," she said quickly, ignoring his look of disappointment, and climbing out of the car. "Thanks for the ride home."

"Night, Veronica. Hey, um, thank you for a great evening."

She nodded, flashing him a quick smile before she hurried into the complex. The lights surrounding the pool cast a dim glow, and she almost missed the outline of someone sitting on one of the chairs near her apartment. She stopped dead as she spotted the person, beginning to pull her phone out, when the shadow shifted into the light. Her heart slowing stopped thudding in fear.

"Dad?" she said in relief. "What are you doing out here? It's late…"

"Hey, honey," Keith replied quietly.

She frowned. She'd always seen her dad as larger than life, her protector and champion. But right then he just looked weary, his shoulders slumped. With a start she realised he looked old. Keith patted the seat he'd pulled next to him in invitation.

"How was the party?" he asked as she dropped down.

"Oh, you know. A lot of liquor, piles of drugs. I left before the orgy started though, I promise," she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled, but she could see his heart wasn't in it.

"I have to tell you something," he said seriously.

A flicker of dread shot through her. "Are you okay?"

"It's your mom."

"Has something happened?" she asked in concern. "Is she…" she stopped abruptly, swallowing hard.

"She's fine," he assured, and Veronica let out a sigh of relief as she sat back in the chair. "Actually, she's here."

"Here? In Neptune?" Veronica queried in shock.

"As in, in the apartment. Veronica, she's going to be staying with us awhile."

"What?" Veronica gasped out, her shock turning to anger. "Are you kidding me? You've just decided this without even asking me?"

Keith shook his head, gazing out at the pool that shimmered in the moonlight. Even in the dark light, Veronica could see the leaves and scum that had accumulated on the top layer. There were no cute pool boys in the 02er district to clear them.

"It's not as simple at that, honey," he said quietly. "I couldn't turn her away."

Veronica got up onto her feet. "Did you ask her where our fifty grand is? Boozed away, no doubt." She stalked towards the door, her arms crossed over her middle.

"Wait," Keith shouted, jumping up. "Don't go in there yet…"

Veronica yanked the door open and stomped in, before she stopped short, her mouth dropping open. Her mom rose up from the couch, looking surprised at Veronica's dramatic entrance.

"Hello, Veronica," she said carefully.

Veronica let out a bitter laugh. "Well, this explains a lot." Keith stepped through the door, looking worried.

Lianne placed her hand on her enlarged stomach, as if trying to protect it. "I had nowhere else to go."

"So you come running back when you need us for something?" Veronica's gut clenched in fury, her jaw tightening.

Lianne's blue eyes, so like Veronica's own, welled with tears as she looked away, as if unable to meet her daughter's accusing eyes. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." There was a moment of tense silence, until Lianne said softly, "I know you're mad, but I'm still your mom."

Veronica let out a weary sigh. "You stopped being that a long time ago," she told her sadly and Lianne flinched, huddling into herself. "So, whose is it then?"

Lianne frowned in confusion.

"The baby has a father, right? I'm assuming it wasn't Immaculate Conception?"

Her mother's face flushed, as she glanced down at the floor. "It's complicated…"

"Maybe we should let your mother settle in," Keith suggested. "I've given her my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Did you even _know_ the father?" Veronica bit out. "Or was it just another drunken fumble?"

"Veronica!" Keith chastised, reaching for her. "Maybe you should go to bed."

Veronica shot him a scathing look and twisted away from his outstretched hand. "I'm not allowed to have an opinion on this? _Seriously_? I would just like to know who my little brother or sister to be's dad is – I don't think that's too much to ask."

"It's Jake's," Lianne said softly, her shoulders drawn up as if to keep herself from the inevitable attack to come.

"Figures," Veronica said bitterly, tearing her eyes away from her father. "So you've found time to see Jake and not your family? Have you told him?"

Lianne nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"He hasn't changed then," Veronica said, shaking her head in disbelief. "You know, I think I _will_ go to bed. She walked past her mother, towards the familiar sanctuary that was her room. She shut the door behind her, and sank down to the ground.

000

The room looked like a bomb had hit it, with every surface covered with an array of cups, plates, napkins and empty glass bottles. Half eaten slices of cake were left, and there were even a few items of clothing, that Logan didn't want to know the details of.

"Thank you so much, Logan," Parker said, as she shoved plastic cups into a black sack. "No one has ever done something so sweet for me."

Logan looked up and gave Parker a smile. "It was my pleasure."

"I'm glad Veronica came," Parker continued and Logan frowned at the mention. "I was worried she'd hate me, you know? She left kinda early though."

"I think she had classes early or something," Logan lied. He dropped the bag he was holding on to the floor. "Hey, let's leave this til' morning, and go do something way more interesting instead."

A slow smile spread across her lips. "And here I thought you'd never ask!" she laughed, walking towards him, her hips swinging. Her arms slipped around his neck, and she pulled him in for a kiss. Logan deepened the kiss, breathing in her Jasmine perfume, and tried not to miss the light spicy scent Veronica wore. As his eyes closed, he fought hard to wipe the image of his ex making out with another guy, instead trying to concentrate on his girlfriend.

000

Veronica had made tuning other people's conversations out a fine art the year after Lilly died. She'd soon got tired of Parker's excited recaps of 'like, the best party, ever!' and retreated to her own world, moving piles of pasta about on her plate. Piz sat opposite, staring hopefully at her as she avoided his eyes.

She felt a gentle nudge and turned to find Wallace looking at her with a concerned expression. "You okay?" he asked quietly. She shrugged, trying to raise a smile, before she failed miserably.

"Just a lot of work to do," she said and he nodded. She glanced towards Logan, who was listening to Parker talk intently, before he laughed. She felt the familiar rush of jealously enveloping her. Why did Parker get to be that one? The one that made him happy.

"We were thinking of going bowling," Parker announced. "It was so much fun last time."

"I can't," Veronica said quickly. "Got plans."

"You don't even know when we're going," Mac laughed. Veronica shot her a look causing Mac to glance away, looking contrite.

"Come on, Veronica! We need people to beat!" Parker cajoled, with a playful smile and Veronica's jaw clenched. "We're going tonight. It would be great if you could come."

"I have class," Veronica said abruptly, standing up. Parker's face fell, and all eyes were on her as she gathered her stuff, and swung her bag over her shoulder.

"I do too," said Mac, "I'll walk with you." She waited until they were a distance away from the table, before saying, "What's wrong?"

Veronica shrugged. "Nothing."

"You were kinda snappy with Parker. She was just asking…"

"Yeah, perfect Parker. Always so _sweet_ and thinking of others." Veronica regretted it immediately, but she remained silent for a few more minutes. "Sorry," she finally said.

"I don't want to be in the middle," Mac pointed out, as they dodged a group of people milling in the centre of the hallway. "It makes things hard."

"I know," Veronica sighed, before she slowed down. "Do you really have class?"

"Not for awhile," Mac replied, "Do you?"

"Soon. Let's ditch. We should go and see a movie, or something. Go to Amy's for ice-cream afterwards?"

Mac hesitated. "I'm supposed to be meeting Bronson after…"

"Oh," Veronica said, unable to keep the disappointment from colouring her tone.

"No, I'll cancel," Mac said, noticing. Her forehead creased with worry as she pulled out her phone.

Veronica shook her head. "Don't, it's okay."

"Veronica," Mac said determinedly. "I'm ditching. It's cool." Veronica gave her a grateful smile as Mac made the call.

000

The dark interior of the suite seemed even duller than usual. It was like the walls were closing in on him. The sofa felt uncomfortable as he lounged on it, Parker sitting at the other end. The beady eye of the fish on the wall seemed to bore into the back of his neck. The movie droned on, he'd stop paying attention around an hour ago.

"Let's go away this summer," Logan said abruptly. The idea came to him suddenly, and he realised how perfect it was. What could be better than spending the summer travelling, exploring and lazing on beaches?

Parker sat up slowly. "Really?" she asked in surprise. "Where?"

"Anywhere! Italy, Spain, St Lucia – wherever," he said, his voice rising in excitement.

A smile spread across her glossy lips. "No summer with my parents," she said hopefully.

"Exactly," Logan breathed, jumping to his feet as if he wanted to get out right then and there.

Parker followed him, climbing to her feet until she suddenly stopped. "Why do you want to leave so badly?" she asked.

Logan shrugged. "Just sick of Neptune."

"So it's not about spending the summer together?" Parker asked directly.

"Your first thought was about your parents," Logan pointed out, "not me." He sighed; a discussion about their relationship was the last thing he wanted to happen.

"I just want to know where we're going. If we're on the same page here." The walls were closing in again. "Has leaving got anything to do with Veronica?"

Logan expelled his breath suddenly. "Why the hell would it?"

"I saw the way you looked at her as she left today. It's like you still have feelings for her." She paused. "Do you, Logan?"

"No!" he protested. "Of course not. I just thought it would be fun, that's all. It's not a big deal." She continued to stare at him, as if waiting for the magic words to make it all better. None came. "Look, I said I'd meet Dick after his class. I'll call you later, okay?" He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before walking away. He didn't turn around to see Parker's crestfallen expression.

000

"So when are you due?" Veronica finally asked, not looking up from the vegetables she was chopping. Lianne was perched on a stool, peeling potatoes. It was a far cry from the last time they cooked together, joy bubbling in Veronica's stomach that her family were finally back together.

"In a few weeks," she replied. Veronica looked up for a split second, taking in her mother's appearance. Her skin was dull and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"Have you been drinking throughout the pregnancy?" she snapped icily, finally unable to hold back the question that had been gnawing at her for days.

"It's _difficult_, Veronica," Lianne said piteously.

Veronica pursed her lips. "Well, that's a great start in life. You as its mother, and vodka in its veins." She threw the vegetables into a saucepan and retrieved the potatoes.

"Don't you love me any more?" Lianne asked softly.

Veronica dropped her knife in shock. "You don't have the _right_ to ask that question."

There was a sharp silence, except for the sound of the knife hitting the chopping board angrily. Veronica pursed her lips and let out a quick breath of air, deciding to let the argument go for the sake of her sanity.

She turned to look at Lianne. "Have you thought of any names?"

Lianne look towards her hesitantly, before she grasped hold of the olive branch that Veronica was offering. "I was thinking maybe I could name her after Lilly."

Veronica's eyes widened and the branch vanished with a distinctive pop. "What?"

"I thought you would like it," Lianne replied, looking worried.

Veronica shook her head angrily. "So you can finally have Jake's family?"

"No," Lianne denied swiftly. She paused for a minute before she said in a strained voice, "Okay, bad idea."

The wall of silence spread between them like a steel fortress. Veronica sped to hurry up and finish the potatoes before she fled to her room. She leaned back on her bed, relieved to be away from Lianne and the stifling awkwardness they were living with. Every interaction they had ended with one of them hurriedly leaving the room for fear of a fight escalating.

Her phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. She grabbed it from the bedside table. Piz's name lit up the screen. Her thumb hovered over the ignore button for a split second, before she hit answer.

"Hey, Piz."

"Hi!" he greeted brightly. "I know you said you'd call, but I thought why not? I was just wondering if you were going bowling tonight?"

"Listen, Piz," she began, "I have to apologise for last night. Things are a mess right now, and I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship." She bit her lip as he went silent.

"Yeah, I figured at lunch," he finally said. "The awkwardness didn't really suggest that things had gone well."

"I'm sorry," Veronica replied genuinely.

"It's cool. I hope to see you at bowling tonight anyway."

"Thanks, Piz," Veronica responded. "Goodnight."

000

She'd just found a parking spot at Hearst amongst the rows and rows of shiny Hondas and SUVs when she spotted Weevil hurrying over through the lanes towards her. He knocked on her window, and she signalled that he could get in.

"Hey, Vee," he greeted.

"You okay?" she asked in concern, noticing the look on his face.

"Some stuff has been going missing, tools and stuff. At first I thought it was just the others being sloppy, but it's getting worse. I just don't have the time to sit on my ass and watch everything, and I think, being an ex-con…"

"You'll be the first suspect?" Veronica put in, realising he was genuinely worried, skipping their usual banter.

He gave her a wry smile. "When aren't I?"

"I'll try and look into it," Veronica promised. Just then her phone rang. She reached over, pulled it out of her bag and hit the answer button, giving Weevil an apologetic look.

"Veronica, Lianne has gone into labour," Keith informed her, before she could even say anything.

"Now? But she's early!" Veronica pointed out, a flutter of panic twisting at her stomach.

"I know, honey. I'm sure it will be okay," he assured. "We're at the hospital now."

"I'll meet you there soon," she promised, flipping her phone shut.

"Everything alright?" Weevil asked, glancing at her curiously.

"Not especially," Veronica replied. "My mom has just gone into labour. I need to get to the hospital."

Weevil's face was a picture of shock as she restarted the engine. It was almost comical.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked slowly, regaining his voice.

"Thanks for the offer, but my dad is there," she answered. "I'll let you know when I get a chance to look into the thefts."

The drive to the hospital took longer than expected, the morning traffic having built up. She sighed worriedly. There was always a risk with older women having babies, and with the drink on top of that, there was a strong possibility of complications. Veronica parked the car and rushed towards the maternity wing.

A dark-haired woman was watering her plants behind the desk. At Veronica's approach, she looked up with a clearly disinterested expression. "Can you tell me where Lianne Mars is please?"

"Family only," the woman replied, putting down the small watering-can.

"I'm her daughter," Veronica told her, swallowing hard.

The woman leaned forward with a sigh and moved her fingers rapidly on the keyboard of her computer. "She's in room 223, just down the hall."

"Thanks."

She spotted Keith waiting outside the room, and he stood when he saw her, enveloping her in a hug.

"She's doing okay at the moment," he told her. "I think we have a long wait ahead of us."

Just then the door opened, and Lianne was wheeled on her bed, looking anxious.

"What's going on?" Veronica asked the nearest doctor.

"We're going to have to perform a C-section. Please wait here." He turned to look at Keith. "You're the father? If you want to scrub in…"

"No," Keith said, shaking his head. "I'm not."

The doctor nodded and Veronica and Keith watched as they disappeared out of view.

000

There was nothing quite like the smell of a hospital. The thick stench of urine never seemed to be covered up, even if they washed the walls in bleach. The smell of overly processed food wafted down the hallways, as they served the patients in a ward near-by their lunch. It smelled worse than the school dinners Veronica remembered, none too fondly.

She could hear the sounds of a woman in labour coming from a nearby room, begging loudly for more drugs. Veronica wished she'd thought to bring her iPod with her that morning.

Veronica sighed impatiently as she read the same line for the third time in the magazine she'd found and was attempting to distract herself with. As fascinating as 'Five Ways to Spot if a Guy Really Likes You' was, she could have used it a few months ago when dealing with Piz.

Veronica tried to keep thoughts of her mother, and the fact they were cutting open her stomach in a room down the hall, at bay, but icy slivers of fear had their habit of forming around her heart with a tight grip, all sorts of possibilities of what could go wrong flying around her mind.

"Do you want another coffee?" Keith asked, standing up and stretching. He rolled his shoulders back, as if sitting for too long had made them ache.

Veronica looked up at him gratefully. "Yes, please. You might as well put all the sugar you can find in it."

"And be responsible for you only having three teeth left, kiddo? You can do that on your own time." He smiled at her reassuringly, and set off towards the drinks machine.

000

Veronica checked her watch again. It felt like hours had passed since they'd arrived, but in reality it had only been half an hour from when Lianne had been wheeled away. Every minute dragged. Her thoughts kept drifting to her mother, even though she tried to think of anything but Lianne. She'd never been the type to pine for a brother or sister. Lilly, and then Wallace had filled the role in her life perfectly. Now she was going to get one, wanted or not. She hadn't let herself think too much about the baby in the few days her mom had been home, brushing thoughts aside of whether it would be a boy or girl, and what its name would be.

Just then a doctor headed out of the door further down the hall, unbuttoning her scrubs as she walked towards them.

"You're Lianne Mars' daughter?" Veronica nodded at the Doctor's question, biting her lip.

"It's all over now. You want to go and see her? She's out of recovery now," the doctor said, motioning towards the room Lianne was in, before carrying on down the corridor. "I'll be back to check on her in an hour."

Veronica glanced over to the door. So this was it.

She was now a big sister.

She was relieved when Keith came back down the hallway again, two plastic cups filled with steaming coffee in each hand.

"She's had the baby," Veronica told him and he raised his eyebrows, putting the drinks down on a nearby table.

"You ready?" he asked. She watched him push his shoulders back as if steeling herself. She recognised the gesture well.

Veronica looked down at the ground, licking her cracked and dry lips. "Yeah."

The room was bigger and brighter than she'd been expecting, pastel stencils decorating the walls, adding to the nursery like affect. Lianne was lying in the bed, her eyes shut and her face slightly reddened. Next to her was a clear bassinette, and Veronica could see the tiny baby wrapped in a white blanket.

Keith walked over to the bed, and peered down at his ex-wife. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Congratulations," Keith greeted softly.

Lianne smiled and looked over at Veronica. "Don't you want to come and meet your baby sister?"

Veronica remained frozen in the doorway, unable to move as Keith turned to coo over the baby, gently stroking her cheek.

"She's beautiful," Keith announced and looked at Veronica. "Looks just you did."

"What are you going to call her?" Veronica asked.

Lianne looked proudly down at her new-born baby. "I've called her Holly. You know I named you after one of my aunts, so I thought I'd name her after my other aunt."

000

Lianne looked down at her daughter sleeping in the bassinette next to her. She looked so calm and peaceful now, not like the bright red wailing banshee she'd resembled earlier, when she had been rudely introduced to the world. Lianne couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in such a warm and quiet environment, only for someone to reach in and pull you into the cold. A world that was filled with noisy, busy people that bustled around you, poking you and making you cry.

She sighed, exhaustion prickling down her body, overpowering the drugs for the barest second as her thoughts drifted. She had thought that calling her Lilly would have been such a good idea, that Veronica would appreciate it and stop looking at her with anger and disappointment clouding her eyes. She missed her sweet daughter. The one that did anything for her that she asked and loved her unconditionally. Lianne didn't even know what went on in Veronica's head anymore; she was so closed off and distant.

Lianne had thought her daughter was going to be her ticket to a better life, a second chance. She remembered the way Jake had looked at her after she'd told him. He stared at her in dumb-founded shock, unable to form any words. "Not again," he'd murmured, before stumbling to his feet. Lianne had felt a total wave of devastation when she realised he wasn't leaving Celeste, he was leaving _her_.

She'd even gone to the clinic to get rid of it, but she just couldn't bring herself to go through with getting rid of Jake's baby. She hoped that after the baby had been born, he'd change his mind. He'd lost his other children, and she had been the one to give him another.

But being back with Keith and Veronica though had given her another hope. Perhaps her new life could be with them, if she just tried harder. She could be happy.

000

The door finally opened, after the loud thumping music suddenly stopped. Piz looked dishevelled, and surprised to see her there. He reached up and quickly smoothed down his hair.

"Uh, Veronica, hi!" He stood frozen for a second longer before he stepped back. "Where are my manners? Come in!"

"Actually, I'm here to see Wallace. Is he around?"

Piz's face immediately fell. "Oh, right, of course. He's got a game at the moment, won't be back for awhile."

Veronica let out a quick breath of frustration. She'd been counting on him to do his Wallace-thing and work his BFF magic. She just needed someone to listen.

"Do you want to come in anyway? We could hang out, you know, as friends…" Piz continued hopefully.

Veronica frowned, looking up at Piz's eager wide eyes. He was cute, really. Not her usual type but he liked her. God knew why. His lips parted as if to say something, and her decision was made in a split second. She pushed forward, her lips landing on his, propelling them both backwards. She kicked the door shut with her foot, as Piz got over his shock, and kissed her back, his hands snaking around her waist. She suddenly stepped backwards, but before he could look disappointed, she yanked his top up. He lifted his arms, and aided in removing it. He looked at her like all his dreams were coming true at once as she pushed him down on the bed, and straddled him.

"You're beautiful," he said, before his lips found hers again. She kissed him with all the enthusiasm she could muster, as she fumbled with his zipper .

His hand fell on hers to aid her, the mental teeth of the zipper snaking down to reveal innocent white boxers. She almost laughed, they were so _Piz_. Logan always wore… Veronica shook her head and looked back up at Piz's open face, smiling softly at her and she was overcome with a sickened realisation. What the hell was she _doing_?

"Oh, god," she said, climbing back up, her arms wrapping around herself as she looked down at him in horror, breathing hard.

"Veronica?" he said, scrambling after her as she backed away like a frightened animal. "What's wrong?"

She felt the acid turn in her stomach as she gasped a breath in. Her hand found the door handle, and she twisted it and rushed out.

000

The waves quietly rippling onto the beach usually soothed her, as she sat at the shore line, her bare feet pressed into the sand. She'd managed to avoid everyone for two days, dodging lunch and studying in the back of the library. She knew Lianne was coming home that day; Keith had set up an old, but sturdy looking crib in his room. She guessed he'd bought from a thrift store that morning. He'd neatly made it with sweetly embroidered blankets.

He'd done it before, brought up what could have possibly not been his child as his own. Was he going to do it again, even _knowing_ this time she wasn't his?

Veronica reached forward and scooped up a handful of the golden sand. She held it for a brief second before she spread her fingers, letting the sand pour between the gaps until only a smattering of clinging grains remained. They were so tiny, she thought, billions and billions making up a single beach. She brushed her hand, and the remaining grains were pushed off, falling to join the rest.

She heard a cough from behind her, and turned to find Keith walking towards her, Holly bundled up in his arms.

"May I join you?" he asked.

"You don't need permission," Veronica said with a small smile, as he carefully lowered himself to rest next to her. She let out a breath, and gazed down at her tiny sister. She had big blue eyes, and a swathing of blonde head that looked so soft, Veronica ached to touch it. Her hands were balled up into fists as Veronica cautiously reached out and gently stroked her chubby little cheek. Holly just blinked at her in response.

"Would you like to hold her?"

"I don't know," Veronica replied, looking down.

"She doesn't bite," Keith smiled.

Veronica reached out and took her, carefully cradling her head in the nook of her arm. "Hey, you," she said. "I'm your big sister."

000

"I swear Professor Lewes is trying to kill me," Veronica greeted Wallace as she walked up to the table he was sitting at, and threw her bag down on the bench. Finding a table outside was a rare commodity, and the moments had to be treasured. "She gave us two papers to do by next week. Two!" She swung her legs over the bench, coming to rest, and pulled an apple out of her bag.

Wallace looked up slowly from the book in front of him. "Yeah, it's all about you," he said.

"Sure, there are other students in her class, but I'm so behind right now," she explained, taking a bite of the fruit.

Wallace shrugged and turned the page of his book.

"Are you okay?" Veronica asked in concern, noting his demeanour.

"Great," he said dully.

"Well, good…" Veronica replied uncertainly, her forehead frowning with confusion.

"I'm actually trying to study here, so if you don't mind…" Wallace said pointedly.

Her eyes widened with realisation. "This is about Piz, isn't it?" She let out a sigh. "Look, I should explain about that. Things have been…"

"Stop," Wallace commanded, stopping her in her tracks. "I don't care. I don't want to hear your latest drama, or whatever it is you're going to use to excuse you for treating him like shit."

Veronica stared at him in shock. "Wallace…"

He shook his head, grabbing his book and climbing out of the bench. "Enough," he said finally, before turning and walking away, leaving Veronica staring after him.

He glanced back angrily, and she quickly looked away, covering the tears burning in her eyes.

000

Logan had never been to a duller lecture in his life. The professor had spoken in the same monotone throughout the whole thing, and hadn't bothered to use slides. He'd lost interest within minutes, but had found himself in the middle of a row, unable to escape without making everyone move.

He looked forward to an afternoon of playing video games with Dick, and possibly getting shit faced as a bonus. He weaved through a crowd, stifling a yawn, trying to remember where exactly he'd parked the car. With a pang he missed his bright yellow car, easily spotted from a mile off.

He glanced across the path, and spotted Veronica sitting at a table. Even though her back was to him, and she was hunched over, he knew it was her. He frowned when he realised that her head was in her hands, her shoulders drooping with resignation. He slowed to a halt, before he shook his head, _so_ not his business. It wasn't often Veronica allowed herself to be publicly upset though, Logan thought, his chest aching. He despised seeing Veronica upset over anything.

"Fuck," he bit out, before he turned and headed towards her, cursing his lack of self control. As he got nearer, he realised she was talking on a phone. He turned to leave; he didn't want to hear her whispering sweet nothings to Piz, but then he heard the name Lianne and stopped dead in surprise.

"Yeah, okay, I'll baby-sit. Be home later," Veronica finished, before she hung up. She turned swiftly, her mouth falling open when she saw Logan standing there, concern written across his face.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked, aware of the awkwardness setting in.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Veronica asked. He could see the faint redness around her eyes.

"You just looked…" He shook his head. "Never mind."

Veronica grabbed her bag from the bench.

"So, super sleuth," Logan asked lightly, "where did I park my car?"

Veronica frowned, as if in deep concentration. "Fifth row back."

"Can always count on you," Logan responded, as they set off towards the parking lot.

000

Wallace sighed, and threw down the pen he was holding on to his desk in frustration. Every time he tried to concentrate on his paper, he felt guilt gnawing at him. He was angry with Veronica, scratch that, _livid_ – but he knew he hadn't given her a chance to explain. She was his best friend, and it wasn't like her to behave that way.

He shook his head to himself. It was _so_ much easier being friends with guys. They weren't as hard to deal with as Veronica, who was the epitome of complication. Arguments with other guys were usually solved after a big blow-out, and a round of Crash Bandicoot. Guys usually didn't cry, and look at him with a hurt expression that haunted him for the rest of the day.

Wallace stood up and slipped his sneakers on. He knew he wasn't going to get any more studying done.

000

Logan sighed, mashing the keyboard of his laptop in frustration. Every time he tried to lose himself in some meaningless distraction, his thoughts slid traitorously back to Veronica, and to the knot of worry he felt inside. He'd tried to find out what was wrong with her as they walked through campus, but she'd shut him down point blank. He knew when to push, and when to drop it, and he'd taken the signs to shut up.

"Guess what, dude?" Dick said, after bursting through the door. He threw his key card in the general direction of the table, before jumping over the sofa and landing with a thump.

Logan looked up slowly from his laptop. "You scored with twins?"

"No, although that would be _really_ sweet." Dick paused, picking up an X-box controller and started loading up Halo.

Logan continued to look at him, waiting for him to speak. "Um, hello? We're having a conversation here…"

"What? Oh, yeah," Dick said, glancing back from the screen. His eyes were already glazing over. "Well, I just heard from my dad's friend that has this rockin' summer house in South America. He said we can rent it off him for the summer. It's right by the beach – surfing and bikini babes! How awesome will this summer be?"

Logan grinned in relief. "Dude, day after exams – I'm there."

"We can go halves on the rent or whatever," Dick shrugged, and Logan nodded in agreement.

Logan's phone began to ring, and he reached forward to scoop it up from the table.

"Ah, the keeper of your testicles calls again," Dick predicted.

"You know, you talk about my balls way more than is healthy," Logan pointed out, as he walked across to his room and shut the door.

"Yeah, well I don't want to hear you having phone sex anyway," Dick shouted after him as Logan rolled his eyes and hit the answer button.

"I saw you, you know," she greeted coldly.

"Hey, sweetie," Logan replied sarcastically, sinking down on the end of his bed. "And just how is your day going?"

"You were supposed to meet me after class, remember? And then I saw you with Veronica," she continued angrily.

"Oh, yeah," Logan said in realisation, hitting his forehead with his hand. "I completely forgot."

"Yeah, it's funny how you always do when she's involved."

"Well, actually I forgot before I even saw her," Logan rationalised.

"God, Logan," she snapped, "that makes me feel _so_ much better."

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Fine, okay," she said with a sigh. "Have you thought any more about summer plans?"

Logan's eyes widened, as he remember his outburst. "Um, well, I've kinda promised Dick I'd hang out with him in South America." He tensed, waiting for the inevitable explosion. "Parker?" he checked after a few seconds, before the dial tone rang out.

He threw the phone down on the bed in frustration, his fingers itching to call her straight back. He hated putting off confrontations; he preferred to get it all out there, one big violent eruption. He could do damage control, patching things back up, especially when he was in the wrong. But the anticipation of an argument just left him feeling tense and angry, his teeth gritting at the thought of seeing his girlfriend.

000

"Shh," Veronica pleaded, gently rocking her sister in her bouncer as she screamed, her face reddened with the effort. She wasn't even crying _tears_, Veronica thought in annoyance, just trying to make as much noise as possible. "I really have to study, kid. Just give me an hour? Please?"

Lianne had left early that afternoon, after calling her and evasively saying she had to run errands. Keith wasn't due back for hours, and it was the first time she'd babysat Holly alone. Veronica had fed and changed her, but she still seemed intent on giving her a migraine.

"I'll give you… five dollars? Some extra milk? I'll get you a pony…" Veronica tried in a cajoling tone. "Fine," she sighed, reaching forward and unstrapping her. She carefully lifted Holly, hugging her small, warm body to her own chest. Immediately, the cries stopped. "So that's what you wanted," Veronica said quietly. "A hug. I know how you feel."

Veronica flinched when there was a knock at the door, but Holly remained quiet. She walked over and opened it.

"Wallace," she greeted in surprise. He was bouncing from one foot to the other, looking at her in trepidation.

He eyed the baby. "Working on a case?"

She shook her head. "Not so much. Do you wanna come in?" She bit down on her lip as she moved to let him past, nerves fluttering in her stomach. Was he there to bitch her out again? She dreaded losing him as friend, especially for one stupid mistake that she would do anything to take back.

"So is she yours?" he finally asked, his tone lighter, as he sat down on the sofa and gestured mischievously at Holly.

"Oh, you know. My secret love child with Jimmy Stewart." Her nose wrinkled. "Now that I think about it, that's gross."

"Because he's old?"

"More because he's _dead_," Veronica replied. She joined him on the sofa, careful to sit at the opposite end. "I'm sorry, Wallace. I screwed up big time, and I will apologise to Piz."

Wallace looked down. "I just don't get why."

Veronica sighed. "It was a horrible, horrible choice. I wasn't thinking straight. It's not an excuse, I know."

Wallace nodded shortly.

"Well, I guess you should meet my little sister," Veronica said, looking down at Holly, and back to Wallace's stunned face.

000

To be continued…

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

000

"What do you think, honey?" Lianne asked, as Veronica walked through the door and put her bag down. Her mother was stirring a red sauce in a saucepan that filled the air with a spicy scent.

"About what?" Veronica asked.

"We're having spaghetti bolognese for dinner, and I'm trying to decide on the music. Do you think I should go with the classic - Frank Sinatra, or something more modern - Il Divo?"

"We _have_ Il Divo?" Veronica queried dryly, her forehead wrinkling.

"We do."

"Sinatra then, definitely. Come Fly With Me?"

"Good choice!" Lianne said brightly, walking over to the CD player and picking it out.

Veronica hopped up on the kitchen stool, breathing in the aroma drifting across the air, her stomach rumbling.

"I registered Holly's last name as Mars, not Kane," Lianne informed her softly as she busied herself with ripping open a package of crimped noodles. Sinatra played quietly in the background.

"Oh," Veronica replied in surprise, before she attempted a small smile. "Thank you."

000

Veronica had discovered there were different kinds of exhaustion. The kind you got from pulling an all-nighter, rushing to finish a last minute paper and you needed some coffee and a shower to make it through the rest of the day. There was the painful type, after a twelve hour shift, where your life depends on crashing on a sofa somewhere. Then there was the kind that builds up from the very recesses of your bones after more than a day of forced insomnia. You feel it with every breath, every blink. Things begin to look spectacularly comfortable; the cafeteria floor, the desks in class, the middle of the road. Your body aches just by _being_. Veronica couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror anymore, the dark circles under her eyes becoming blacker by the day. She found herself staring longingly at the grass as she sat at the edge of the blanket.

Parker had suggested Tuesdays should be picnic day and much to Veronica's disgust everyone had gone along with it. She couldn't believe Logan put up with that crap, she thought everyone stopped thinking picnics were cool in the fourth grade. Parker had gone to town with the assortment of goodies laid out. Even Wallace had shown at the prospect of free food. Mac sat leaning against Bronson, picking at her marinated tofu that had been provided for her. Logan was sprawled out, enjoying the sun, and Veronica's eyes flickered over him, appreciating the shirt he'd worn that was tight enough to show his ripped muscles underneath. She unconsciously licked her lower lip, before she caught herself, and reached out for her can of Skitz.

Logan had been acting strangely since they arrived. He'd been sickeningly sweet to her, passing her different items of food to try and keeping up a constant stream of chatter. On the other hand, there was a tense silence between Parker and Logan, and when they'd had to speak; he'd been terse and antagonistic, as if he was trying to purposefully cause an argument. Veronica couldn't help the flicker of relief at the fact there was trouble in paradise already, while feeling slightly confused at his attitude towards herself. It was clear Parker was getting angrier as time wore on.

"Alright if I join you?"

She looked up, her hand above her eyes as she squinted in the sun to make out Weevil.

"Bring any lunch? It's the rules," Veronica said in a sarcastically perky voice, moving up to make space.

"I have my sandwich," Weevil said, showing a squashed-looking cheese sandwich, which had been wrapped in a clear bag.

"Where do you normally spend lunch anyway?" Veronica asked, pushing the metal tab on her can back and forth.

"Sleeping in my car," Weevil said with a shrug.

"Aw, did you get lonely?" Veronica mocked.

Logan looked up as if he'd only just noticed Weevil sitting there. "Shouldn't you be fixing something?" he asked with a bored expression.

"Logan! Don't be rude," Parker chastised quickly, as if she'd been dying to tell him off for _something_, before looking up at Weevil. "I don't think we've met," she said with a bright smile.

"This is Weevil," Veronica said, gesturing towards him. "He went to high school with us. And this is Parker, Logan's girlfriend." She was proud of herself at the casual way she'd managed to say it, without rolling her eyes, gagging or banging her head against the ground.

He raised his eyebrow in greeting, looking vaguely interested. "How do you do it Echolls?"

"Do what?" Logan rose up from the blanket, a familiar challenge flashing in his dark eyes.

"Make them not realise you're a pendejo."

"My wholesome good looks and charm more than makes up for it. You know, I don't see _anyone_ queuing up for you. Ex-con not a turn-on?"

"I do just fine, thanks for your concern," Weevil replied with a sarcastic smile.

"So, let's change the subject," Mac cut in.

Weevil turned to look at Veronica. "How's the baby settling in?"

"What baby?" Mac queried, her forehead wrinkling.

"Ah, yes, the baby," Veronica said dryly. "Well, I was on tour with U2 this summer, as you all know. Bono and I had a bit too much tequila one night, and the rest, as they say, is history..."

"I didn't know it was a secret," Weevil said, ignoring her.

"It's not," Veronica said, shaking her head. "It's just a bit weird to slip, so hey, my mom had a baby with her ex-boyfriend and guess where they're living at the moment, into a conversation. Not very natural, you know?"

Her eyes immediately met Logan's. Shock flittered across his face, before a level of understanding settled in its place.

000

Her mom was lying asleep on the couch when she got home. Holly was fast asleep in her bouncer, Lianne's foot resting at the edge of it. She only seemed to get to sleep if someone sat and rocked her, and they'd all discovered sitting on the sofa while using their foot to do it was a hell of a lot more comfortable than crouching down.

Veronica crept in, slipping her shoes off and putting them away. She glanced over at Lianne. The sun coming through the windows cast a glow across her face. She looked younger in her sleep, relaxed, and Veronica could almost fool herself into believing her mother was really back. The one that made everything better with a few words or a gentle hug. She missed her bubble of bittersweet denial that had come over her the last time her mom had returned. Now she was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, with an ache in her chest that wouldn't go away. Veronica wanted desperately to believe that this _was_ it. She finally had her family back together.

She checked her watch, noting it was almost time for the next feed. Lianne hadn't been breastfeeding Holly, although she claimed she wasn't drinking. Veronica fetched a bottle of milk from the fridge, ready to be heated up when the baby awoke.

On the spur of the moment, she pulled her camera out of her bag and snapped a shot of her mom, before she carefully put it away again. The last photo she'd got of Lianne was a few weeks before Lilly died, and Veronica had destroyed it not long after her mom had disappeared into the night.

She picked up the lead hanging by the door and immediately Backup trotted over, from his position on the floor. She stroked his head as she fixed the lead on, slipped her shoes back on and headed out the door.

000

His knee ached with every step towards the bar. He had twisted it a few weeks ago picking up a heavy tool box, and it had steadily felt worse as they wouldn't allow him to take time off work to let it heal.

Weevil had found the bar a mile or so from campus, hidden down a dingy side street. The neon sign above the doorway flickered briefly, fulfilling every stereotype about the crummy bar.

The air was thick with the stench of alcohol, smoke and a slightly sweet pungent scent. He limped over to the bar, and ordered a beer. The barman looked like he'd seen better days, the wrinkles on his skin broken up by the occasional shining scar. His hair was a soft white colour, that would have befitted a kindly grandfather, but the dark glint in his eyes spoke volumes. Weevil slid the note across the slightly sticky bar, and picked up his glass.

He took a sip, closing his eyes briefly as the cool liquid slid down his throat, washing away a day's worth of grease and grime. Weevil scanned the bar, taking in the two quiet men sitting in the corner playing a game of poker; the rowdy group of college kids, egging each other on to down shots of a brightly coloured potent liquid and finally a slender blonde leaning miserably against a booth.

It wasn't until he reached her that he recognised her as the girl he'd met a few days ago. She looked fed up, unlike the slightly annoyingly chipper attitude she'd sported before.

"Can I get you another drink?" he asked, eyeing her empty glass.

She glanced up at him, seemingly started. "Oh, uh, sure…" she started, before she stopped herself, shaking her head. "No, thank you."

"Really? Seemed like you wanted another there," Weevil pointed out with a small smile.

"I shouldn't, but thanks anyway, Weevil."

"The feminist in you rearing its head?"

She smiled, a sweet smile with a slight edge of bitterness that Weevil took to instantly. He'd seen shades of that smile before on Lilly, on Veronica.

"So what are you doing in a dump like this?" Weevil queried, letting the drink issue go and sliding into the booth opposite her. He avoided touching the table, which usually had an accompanying, suspiciously sticky layer. Just like every other flat surface in the joint.

Her shoulders lifted in a half-hearted shrug. "Just wanted to find a place that suited my mood. And when I tell my parents about it, it will _really_ piss them off, which is a nice bonus." Parker twirled the straw around her empty glass before meeting his brown eyes. "You and Logan don't like each other, do you?"

"What gives you that impression?" Weevil asked teasingly.

"What happened?" she asked curiously, tucking a length of her blonde hair behind her ear.

Weevil sighed. "It's complicated. I don't like the way he treated this girl I knew once."

"Veronica?"

"I don't like the way he treated her _either_. Do you know he bashed her headlights in? Turned the whole school against her? Constantly bullied her?"

Parker's eyes widened in shock. "No way. He wouldn't do that. Veronica wouldn't let him treat her badly anyway."

Weevil snorted. "She wasn't always like that, you know. Anyway, you can be the strongest person on earth, but if everyone turns on you, there isn't much you can do about it."

Parker was silent for a second, taking it in. "Why would she date him?"

"Because she's fucked in the head? I don't know. Ask her," Weevil said with a shrug.

"Well, who was the other girl?"

Weevil looked away briefly, before he met her blue eyes. "Ever heard of Lilly Kane?"

"That rich girl that Logan's dad was accused of murdering?" Parker said, her forehead wrinkling slightly.

"You've seen the E! True Hollywood story then?" he commented.

"Who hasn't?"

"Yeah, well they left a few things out. You should have seen the bruises Logan put on her while they were _dating_," he spat out. "I assume it's him that's upset you?" he asked. "He's not worth it, believe me."

"I think I need a drink," Parker said shakily. "Maybe a few."

000

Veronica stifled a yawn as she padded through to the kitchen. Holly had been crying most of the night, and by the sound of it, Lianne had just decided to sleep through it. The warm smell of bacon and eggs met her, making her stomach rumble.

"Morning, honey," Keith greeted her. "Would you mind waking your mom up before it gets cold?

"Mm," Veronica sleepily agreed, walking back towards what had been her dad's bedroom. She knocked on the door and was met by silence.

She turned the door handle, and peaked around. The bed was neatly made. A feeling a dread tightened in her stomach as Veronica stepped through. The bags were gone, her dad's bathroom cleared of all feminine belongings. The only thing left was her baby sister's cradle. Veronica peaked over the edge of the bassinet, and was surprised to feel an avalanche of relief to see Holly still there, staring up at her with wide blue eyes.

Veronica reached down and gently lifted the baby up. She could smell the soft scent of her powdery skin, mixed with the bland, clean smell of Johnson's baby shampoo.

She turned and walked back towards the kitchen, Holly still in her arms. Her dad looked up with a smile. "Hewo, did you sweep well?" he said in his best baby voice, that Veronica would have rolled her eyes at any other time

"She's gone, dad," Veronica said dully. She was surprised at how much it hurt, as she thought she'd been expecting it the whole time.

"Gone?" Keith echoed.

"She didn't leave a note this time. Shocker, huh?"

"Oh," Keith said, sitting down heavily on the stall, his mouth slightly agape.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Veronica sighed, glancing down at the warm bundle in her arms again. Holly stared back curiously.

000

The cornflower blue sky was covered sporadically with bright white puffs. The sun cast a luminous light across the college campus, suffusing everything in a golden glow. The weather in Neptune always seemed to be spectacularly good when Veronica was in a shitty mood, probably just to rub it in. She spotted Wallace walking towards her and smiled, waving slightly. The smile brightened as she noticed he was carrying two cups.

"Hey, V," he greeted. "I come baring the gift of caffeine."

"Has anyone ever told you how much you rock, Fennel?"

"Eh, it might have been mentioned a few times. So how's it been?" He shot her a sympathetic look.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure if it's better or worse than last time. I guess this time it was expected, but now there's Holly…" She sighed. "I mean, dad's the sheriff, as temporary as it is, he can't just take a few months off to bring up a kid. And he shouldn't have to." She let out a little laugh. "Oh, god, I'm so being emo girl right now."

Veronica frowned, catching sight of Weevil and Parker walking towards the parking lot together. "Since when are _they_ BFF?" she asked, and Wallace turned to look.

"Strange," he agreed. "Want to go check it out?"

Veronica nodded, giving him an apologetic look. "It's too weird not too."

Waving goodbye to Wallace, she hurried after them, but they were out of sight by the time she got there. Veronica hurried up and down the cars, scanning curiously for them. She spotted Weevil's car at the end of the row, and ducked behind a car to watch it. After awhile, the door opened and Parker emerged. Veronica ran along to the next car – a large SUV that covered her perfectly and allowed her to see better.

Veronica's heart thudded in her chest. Parker's hair was a mess, and she watched as she reached up and tried to straighten it with her fingers, before pulling out a mirror to fix her lipstick. Weevil emerged a minute later, looking pleased with himself as he locked the door. Veronica had seen plenty of guilty parties emerge after "the act" and she had a pretty good idea of what had gone on last night.

She fought the urge to fly over there to hit them both with whichever objects happened to be nearby. Instead she stormed over to Weevil's car, her fingernails digging in her palm.

Weevil glanced up and seemed to take in the look on her face.

"Veronica…"

"Don't," she hissed, shaking her head. "How could you, Parker?"

Parker's eyes widened. "Veronica, it's not what it looks like."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before!" She glared at Weevil, shaking her head. "She's Logan's girlfriend."

Weevil's lips twisted into a grimace. "So? What loyalty do I owe _him_?" Parker whipped around to glare at him angrily, before she gathered her stuff.

"No doubt you're going to think what you want to!" Parker snapped at Veronica, before she rushed off towards the halls.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Veronica asked Weevil in disbelief, and then quickly added, "You know what, I don't want to know about some ridiculous grudge that should have been buried years ago. It's pathetic. You can work on your own case, too."

She turned to leave, before she looked back at him. "I thought more of you, Weevil." He had the decency to look ashamed as she marched away.

000

The trees loomed in the distance, casting dark shadows across the pathway. Veronica sat drumming her fingernails nervously on the picnic table, her stomach rolling painfully. She heard his footsteps before she saw him, the sound as familiar as her own. He turned down the footpath she was waiting at and her heart began to beat furiously.

"Hey," he greeted, coming to a halt at the table. He looked around curiously. "What's with the must-meet-now dramatics? Secret espionage a-foot?"

She smiled slightly, motioning for him to sit down. "Not quite." She waited until he'd settled in, before she hesitantly met his eyes. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just get on with it. I saw Parker today…." She paused, struggling to find the words.

He raised his eyebrow. "And that required a covert meeting?"

"She was with Weevil," Veronica finished in a rush. His eyes widened. "I saw them," she confirmed. "I'm so sorry," she said sympathetically.

There was a long drawn-out silence, every second painful.

"You're unbelievable," Logan muttered finally. "What is this? Some jealous attempt to break us up?"

"No, Logan," Veronica denied flatly. "It's true."

He stood up quickly. "Same old Veronica. Has to pull everyone down with you when your life is screwed up." Logan swung his leg over the bench, throwing her a disgusted look. "You just can't stand to see me happy!"

"Oh, fuck you. You both deserve each other," Veronica snapped, jumping up and storming off before he could.

000

"Why won't she stop crying?" Veronica bit out, stepping backwards away from the crib so quickly, she knocked over a glass and sent it flying. She bent to scoop it up, as Keith moved Backup out of the room and out of harms way.

"I think it's most likely colic," Keith replied, rubbing his face with his hand as he spoke. "It's common in babies this age."

She walked into the kitchen, and put it in the trash can. Keith followed her, and sat down heavily on the stool.

"I'm too tired to even think about dinner," he admitted.

Veronica bit down on her lip hard, and then let out a sigh. "We can't do this," she said, shaking her head.

"It's okay, we can order in," he said, reaching for the phone.

"No, Dad, I don't mean dinner." Her voice sounded desperate even to her own ears. "I'm twenty years old, in college. I need to finish, I _want_ to finish," she corrected. "I got a call last week. I got the FBI internship."

Keith's face lit up, as he jumped up from his stool, pulling her into a hug "Honey, that's amazing! My daughter, the fed!"

She couldn't help smiling at his excitement, until he pulled away. "How am I supposed to go away? Am I meant to take Holly with me, look after her while filing paperwork and fetching coffee?"

"I can take care of her," he said immediately.

"You work full time, dad. We can't afford childcare, and you can't quit your job – we wouldn't even have a house to put her in."

He rubbed his hand over his face. "I know, I've been thinking about it too. I don't know what to suggest." His face was a picture of misery.

The word span around her head, pushing and prodding before she finally took a deep breath and said what Keith wasn't. "There's always adoption."

He was silent.

"How can we take care of her?" Veronica said.

"You shouldn't have to be dealing with this," Keith sighed heavily. "She shouldn't be your responsibility."

"She's not yours either," Veronica pointed out. "What about Jake? Oh god, what am I saying?" she said, shaking her head. "Celeste hated me, and she'd hate Holly even more."

"Cliff wrote to his lawyer, in some hope of getting childcare support out of him. His lawyer sent a letter back, and reading between the lines – he's out of the county and unlikely to be returning anytime soon."

Veronica's shoulders slumped, her last hope vanishing. "It doesn't seem like we have a choice," she said dully.

000

"Do you think she looks better in the little pink dress, or the yellow?" Veronica asked. "Oh, they both look sweet." She rummaged around in the drawer, before she spotted a third option. "Or this? It matches her eyes."

"I don't think it really matters which one," Keith said dully.

"Plus, she'll probably puke on it within a half hour," Wallace pointed out, with a small smile.

Veronica stared at the dresses indecisively, before picking up the blue one. She slipped it on over Holly's head, and smoothed it down.

"What do you think?"

Wallace nodded. "Perfect."

A knock on the front door sounded, and Veronica tensed, clutching Holly to her. She gently stroked the top of her soft blonde curls.

"I'll get it," Wallace offered when he saw neither Veronica or Keith move.

"She can't be here already," Veronica said, breaking the sharp silence in the air. "I haven't even said goodbye yet."

Keith laid his hand on her shoulder. "We can change our minds still," he said carefully.

She bit down on her lip for a moment, before anger bubbled up in her stomach. "Do _not_ make this harder than it already is," she snapped. "We _can't_ take care of her. I'm already clearing up mom's mess; I shouldn't have to parent you too."

His hand snapped away, looking visibly stung. "Right, let's get this over with then," he said shortly, looking up as Wallace entered with a dark-haired lady.

"Hello, Mr Mars, I'm Anne Bridges. I've come to collect Holly," she said kindly. She looked over at Veronica. "And you're Veronica, her sister?" She nodded in response. "We'll be placing Holly into a foster home, until an appropriate family can be found for adoption."

Veronica looked down gently at Holly, meeting her blue eyes, so much like her own, that she herself had inherited from Lianne. She ran her finger around Holly's face, the same heart-shape as Lilly's. Duncan's chin. Her sister was a strange mix of so many important people in her life.

"Here you go," she said tightly, passing her across to Anne, before she left the room and walked straight out the front door. She heard footsteps behind her, and Wallace caught up with her as they carried on.

He didn't say a word, just walked with her until she couldn't walk any longer.

000

Veronica reached out and slowly stroked Backup's nose, as he sat next to her bed. She lay sprawled out, breathing slowly. Her head thumped painfully in harmony with her heart, and her eyes felt gritty and dry. She was tired, but couldn't sleep. It was especially difficult when she jumped every time there was the slightest noise, expecting to hear Holly's shrill cry fill the apartment. But disappointment smacked her in the face every time she realised it was a neighbour shuffling around, or her father stirring in his sleep.

Guilt gnawed at her, excruciating, constant. She'd done exactly what her mother had done – abandoned her. Given away her own sister.

How could she ever forgive herself?

000

Logan's nose wrinkled as he caught a whiff of his scent, as he stumbled to his feet. He lurched across the room, almost crashing into the table. The assorted bottles wobbled dangerously, threatening to tip on to the floor. He ignored them, snatching up an almost empty bottle of vodka and poured the rest into a glass. Taking a swig, he grimaced at the foul taste. He felt another rush of fury as Parker's face seemed to hover before him, laughing mockingly. But he _knew_ Parker. She was feisty in her own way, but he couldn't see her cheating on him. And with _Weevil_, of all people.

He slammed the glass down, abandoning it in favour of lifting the bottle direct to him mouth, tipping his head back and letting the cool liquid rush down his throat. It wasn't the first time Logan had thought the best of a girl, and been wrong. He knew how to fucking pick 'em. Blonde, beautiful and ready to stab him in the back. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and found himself flopping back down on the sofa. He covered his face with his hand, letting out a little groan as a knock sounded on the door.

"It's open," he called but regretted it as the door slid open to reveal Parker standing there.

"Hello, Logan. It looks like you've already spoken to Veronica?"

She'd been the perfect girlfriend. Fun loving and sweet. Someone who was thrilled by a picture on a cake and a party in his hotel room. Parker had made it easy to go through the motions of a happy relationship without too much effort, without the fear of being hurt. Her hand rested on her hip. She was dressed in a red sleeveless top, understated but sexy, as if she'd dressed to look pretty without trying to look like she'd made too much of an effort. She wasn't hard to read. He'd been through it all with Lilly.

Something had changed though. There was a finality with the way she was looking at him.

"Yeah," he replied, mussing his hair with his hand and sitting up.

"And you believe her?"

"Actually I said she was jealous, we had an argument and she said we deserved each other," he answered with a sheepish smile. Parker's mouth dropped slightly open. "Having said that, Veronica's not malicious without a reason. She must have seen something."

Her hand dropped from her hip and she fidgeted with her purse. "Nothing happened. We ran into each other in a bar, got a little worse for wear…" Parker shrugged. "We ended up falling asleep in his car. She saw us arriving at college. I'm not a cheat," she said firmly.

"I didn't really think you were," he sighed, with a flicker of a relief that a second girlfriend hadn't cheated on him with Weevil. There was a moment of silence.

"He told me some interesting things about you, though," she suddenly blurted out.

He smirked. "Oh, this will be good."

Parker looked uncomfortable before she finally met his eyes, yet she looked stronger somehow than he'd ever seen her before. "Did you bash Veronica's headlights in?" The words hung in the air between them for a second before she went on, "Did you turn everyone against her?" Logan's throat felt like it was lodged shut. She opened her mouth again and his stomach twisted with dread. "He also said you hit your other ex, Lilly." Each charge was like a lash against his skin. Painful, like sliding a piece of jagged glass against his unhealed wounds.

He finally managed to let oxygen fill his lungs again and he savoured it briefly before dispelling it with a bitter laugh. "I did nothing but worship Lilly," he said frankly. He shook his head in resignation. "What do you want me to say to the rest? It's true," he confirmed.

"Why?" she asked incredulously.

"Why what? Why does she still talk to me? I don't know." He let out sigh. "Look, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life, but it's really between Veronica and I."

Parker gritted her teeth visibly, letting out a breath of frustration. "_I'm_ your girlfriend."

Logan climbed to his feet, trying to ignore the remnants of alcohol that still seemed to be swilling around his brain. "I'm not the guy you think I am, Parker," he said softly and she looked down on the floor, biting her lip. "I can try as hard as I can, but I can't be who you want. I can't love you."

Her blue eyes were filled with tears when she met his again. "Because you love her?"

He paused for a moment, before he nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I guess that's it then," Parker murmured finally, before turning on her heel and closing the door quietly behind her.

Logan sank back down on the sofa, his face buried in his hands.

000

The knock echoed loudly in the cool evening air. He tucked his hands back in his pocket as he waited for the door to open.

Logan felt a stab of shock at Veronica's appearance as she stared at him dully. She looked pale in the dim light, but he could see the dark circles clearly outlining her eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she was dressed in baggy clothes that emphasised her small frame.

"Come to offer more insults?" she said hollowly, even as she stepped away and padded back towards the sofa, leaving Logan to close the door behind them. He followed her steps and dropped down next to her.

Logan hesitated for a moment, before he reached out and put his hand on hers, stupid arguments forgotten. She looked down at it, her eyes glazed. He felt nausea to the pit of his stomach, unable to comprehend the girl in front of him. She reminded him of a broken doll. Her head turned to look at him, fractionally quicker than her eyes were to meet him.

Her voice was barely a whisper as she murmured, "I've done something horrible."

Logan could see the desperation shining from her eyes, written across her skin.

"What?" he asked simply.

"I gave my sister away. I'm just like my mother." She looked horrified after she said it, like it was her worst fear realised.

"Oh, Veronica." Logan allowed his other arm to slide around her, clutching her slight warmth against him. He pressed his lips against the top of her head, which came to rest against his chest. "You're nothing like her," he promised.

"We just don't have the money right now to bring up a child. Childcare costs a fortune; dad can't give up his job and afford to live, not to mention the endless list of other reasons why it's a _bad idea_. One of the worst things is the way dad is looking at me though," she admitted as a tear slowly slid down her cheek. "Like he's so disappointed in what I've done. And he's right, I didn't fight hard enough." Her forehead creased as she sighed. "I took the easy way out."

"It sounds like you took the hard way, actually."

She shook her head, with a small whimper of protest. "I could have quit college, and looked after her. It would have been difficult, but not impossible. I could have done cases on the side."

"You shouldn't have to drop out of college, Veronica," Logan said angrily. "I can help," he said weakly, before he snapped to attention, pulling away from her, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "That's _it_, I can help."

"What? Don't be ridi…"

"Let me do this, Veronica," he interrupted vehemently. "I can pay for childcare costs, help you out. You can stay in college; your dad can still work."

Veronica let out an incredulous laugh. "It wouldn't work…"

"Why not? You can't keep her because you don't have the money, but _I_ have."

"I'm not a charity case," she snapped.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "For god's sake. You've been one of my best friends since you were twelve. I've loved you since…" he stopped abruptly, before he added tenderly, "Just let me do this. Please?"

She hesitated. Her hand was gripping his tightly, which Logan didn't think she was even aware of.

"I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Why not?" he demanded

"I can't be in debt, Logan. Not to _anyone_. I'd have to pay you back, with interest."

"Interest for throwing away on gambling and booze?" He smiled to show he was joking. "I don't want paying back, but if it's the only way you'll agree to it, then we can work something out. _Without_ interest," he said determinedly. He gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "We'll sort this out."

Veronica let out a small hiss of relief, before covering her face with her hands. Her sobs came hard and fast, as Logan gently stroked her back, looking on helplessly.

000

_Five Months Later_

"Veronica," Keith called, "I'm leaving soon!"

She opened her bedroom door and walked over to the side. She pulled out a packet of Coco pops, and began filling a bowl.

"Morning, honey," he dad greeted, before he slid a box in front of her. "This came for you in the mail." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'm off to work now, be good."

She smiled cheerily. "Don't do anything I would do," she answered. "And arrest at least three people. You've been getting sloppy."

Veronica began to unfold the corners of the brown paper covering the box. "Please be a pony, please be a pony," she chanted jokingly.

Keith grabbed his keys, picked up his last slice of toast, and headed out the door. "When are you getting over the pony thing?" he shouted to her, as he closed the door.

"Uh, when I get one," she called back. Veronica pulled away the paper to find a plain white box. She took off the lid, and found a fluffy lilac teddy-bear. Picking up the bear, she examined it and found a small handwritten label.

_'To Holly, with love from your big brother. xxx'_

Veronica stared at it in shook for a brief second. How the hell did Duncan know about Holly, let alone her name? She examined the box, carefully looking under the lid for any hidden notes. She felt a jolt of disappointment when there was nothing there. Veronica quickly scanned the packaging and found there was no postmark, only her address typed out.

If Duncan knew about Holly, then it was obvious he had a contact at home. The name morphed into her mind instantly. _Clarence Wiedman._ And if he knew, then Jake certainly knew about his daughter.

Her jaw set angrily as she dug her cell phone out of her bag and punched in a familiar number.

"Veronica, please don't tell me you've been arrested again. What is it for this time, for stealing diapers?" Cliff ribbed.

"Cliff, can you get in contact with Jake Kane's lawyers for me please?"

"Uh, sure," he answered. "What for?"

"I want you to get the message to him that I know he knows about Holly. And if he doesn't pay back the child support he owes, I will have no choice but to go public with the fact he has an illegitimate daughter that he hasn't paid a _cent_ towards," she said angrily. "The Kanes may have had their share of scandals, but abandoning a baby for over six months while living it up abroad _will_ affect his profits."

Cliff made a noise as if he was scribbling her words down. "Is that all?"

"Well, make it sound less… threaten-y," she added, calming down slightly.

"I'll get on that right away," Cliff said warmly.

"Thanks, Cliff. You're the best," Veronica replied, ending the call. She picked up the teddy and placed it in Holly's toy box with a soft thump.

000

The cloudless sky was a stunning shade of turquoise. Veronica followed the skyline down to the horizon, but it was difficult to tell where the ocean began, the reflection merging. The sea was perfectly calm, after days of perfect surfing conditions.

"Can you pass me the sun lotion?" Veronica asked, unable to muster the energy to even turn to face her best friend. There was just something about the heat that sapped her strength.

Wallace slowly opened one eyelid and his gaze fell the bottle. "That's just lazy, Vee," he chastised, shaking his head, and closing his eye again.

Veronica smiled sweetly. "You could just put the extra cream on Holly, and forego me moving altogether." She was propped up on the towel, using her elbows as support, her head tilted up towards the sun.

Her best friend tutted loudly, but moved to do as she asked. He opened the bottle and began slopping the lotion over the small child sitting between them, happily playing with her bucket and spade. He rescued Holly's pink hat from the hole she was pushing it in to, to put it gently back on her head, carefully smoothing down her fluffy blonde hair.

"You're making food when we get back," he grumbled.

"Mm, I'm too hungry for that," Veronica replied sleepily.

"Your boy toy, two o'clock," Wallace said, before he wrinkled his nose. "I don't know why I _said_ that."

"Coz you're weird?" Veronica offered, finally putting the effort in to sit up. She turned and offered Logan a small wave, as he walked across the beach to him. "He has food," Veronica said with a dreamy smile, spotting the fast food bag he was carrying.

Logan reached them, and bent down to press a kiss on Veronica's forehead. "Going for the lobster look?" he teased Veronica, as he reached out and ticked Holly. Holly returned his gesture with a gappy grin, while slapping him in delight. "Or just waiting for someone else to do the work for you?"

"You know me so well," she returned, digging in to the bag.

"Share already," Wallace demanded eagerly, and she passed him his portion. "_Excellent._"

"Yeah, no problem. Don't either of you thank me, or anything. Just begin to stuff your faces," Logan pointed out sarcastically.

"Food is good," Veronica smiled, waving a fry at him. "Oh!" she said excitedly. "Guess which new word Holly said today?"

"Metamorphosis?" Logan suggested.

"Nah, it's gotta be bourgeois, said in disgust. She _is_ Veronica's sister," Wallace laughed.

Veronica shook her head. "You know you're both going to hell, right? Can't I just be proud of her?"

"Of _course_ you can," Wallace indulged. "It's not like we can stop you anyway."

Logan smiled at her look of irritation. "What was the word?"

"Well, I'm not going to tell you now," she huffed.

Veronica noticed Holly's face beginning to screw up, a sign of an all out temper tantrum. She quickly reached forward and put her sister's spade back in her small hand, relieved when Holly happily began to wave it around.

He shook his head, ignoring her put-on bad mood. "Did you want to go and see a movie tonight?" he asked casually.

"An actual date?" Veronica asked, her smile brightening instantly. "We haven't had one in ages."

"So it's about time we did." Logan said, reaching forward and stealing one of Veronica's fries. "American Gangster is on."

"Oh, I want to see that!" Veronica agreed. "And we could go to that new pizza place that opened for food." Veronica turned to Wallace with a hopeful look. "My dad is going out tonight…"

"I knew this was coming," Wallace complained with a laugh. "Yeah, I'll baby-sit. But you owe me one!"

"I always do," Veronica smiled, turning to Logan and slipping her hand into his.

000

_fin_

Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate your thoughts and feedback. It means a lot to me.


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